We all have them, the friend(s) that probably aren’t that great for us. People that brings us down or make fun of us. We may know these relationships are bad for us integritally or even physically but we don’t do anything about it.
As you go through the KonMari method you will discard some items naturally, the sweater that no longer fits or the sneakers you have had for ten years. Sometimes we find ourselves being able to clear out things easily, but when it comes to relationships that have turned toxic we hold onto them like they are the most important aspect of our lives. Why? Because it’s scientifically proven that most people (including myself) are in some way or another people pleasers. Ah, yes we put other peoples happiness or integrity before our own, and at times we show up for people who wouldn’t do the same for us.
So the simple fact is that at some point or another you will need to cleanse your friends list and find those you actually want in your life. The Kon Mari method is all about removing things from your life that no longer spark joy, keeping only what sparks joy. For me keeping people in my life that no longer value me as an individual or a friend is like keeping something around the house that everytime I walk by it makes me sad or angry. Getting rid of toxic people is therapeutic and beneficial for our well being. It opens up space for a friend who is kind and gives back to us what we give to them. It also opens up time for ourselves. Remember just because someone had a place in your past doesn’t mean they deserve a place in your future.
Here are some tips for letting toxic people go.
- Establish Boundaries and Don’t Apologize for having them. If people don’t respect your boundaries, they aren’t respecting you.
- Know that Toxic People Won’t Leave Easily. Don’t beat around the bush or defend yourself; tell people the truth and be consistent and firm in your decision.
- Recognize Signs of Toxicity in People. You must learn to protect yourself in the same way you protect yourself from catching a cold by washing your hands and avoiding contact with infected people.
- It’s okay to Say, “I Don’t Want to See You Again” toxic people are usually drawn to those who are empathetic and trusting by nature, it can be difficult for that kind of person to do what it takes to free himself. It’s okay to defend yourself.
It is wise to remember we need relationships we just don’t need every relationship. So pick people to have in your life that spark joy and nurture those relationships first.